Prepare For Joy

There is a study that found people are happiest not during their vacation but before it. In the anticipation phase, when they are planning, picturing, and imagining what is coming, dopamine levels rise and happiness peaks.

Most people read that and think it is a little sad. I read it and thought: that is the most useful piece of travel psychology I have ever encountered. Because it tells you exactly where the opportunity is. The reason the actual trip sometimes disappoints is not bad luck, it's that most people visualize their vacation without preparing for it.

They picture the perfect hotel room, the sunset dinner, the adventure going exactly as planned, and then they show up and judge every moment on its individual merits. Food was disappointing, point off. View was incredible, point on. Bags were delayed, point off. If you are lucky the points balance in your Favor. 

Transform the visualization into preparation.

Because once you do, the small negative things lose their power

and the big joyous moments start to stand out.

But a few things go wrong in a row and suddenly the joy starts draining out of a trip you waited months for.

A great trip is rarely the result of perfect circumstances. Prepare and commit to the joyous experience you havealready decided you are going to have.

Visualization creates expectation. Preparation creates experience.

That distinction is everything. Visualizations passive. You picture something good and hope it shows up. Preparation is active. You commit to the experience before it starts. You decide in advance that you are going to have an exceptional time. That single shift changes what your brain does with everything that follows.

I learned this watching my kids at the world’s largest water park in Wisconsin during our48

state RV trip. Largest by square footage, which meant enormous amounts of walking, almost no seating, hours long lines, and wall to wall crowds. For me, categorically one of my nightmare scenarios. But my kids had been talking about this stop for weeks and they had made a decision, consciously or not, that they were going to love it. And they did. On the walk back to the car I listened to them in front of me, teenagers who will complain about anything, recounting the day like it had been extraordinary. The problems that ruined mayday never touched them. Their commitment to joy was stronger than any of it.

Year’s later I took the family to Dollywood. I am not a theme park person, but we love Dolly Parton, and this time I did what my kids had done instinctively. Before we went in, we sat in the hotel room and made a decision together. We are going to have the time of our lives today. The park was packed. We barely got on any rides. The food was exactly what you would expect. But we had a genuinely great time. Because we had committed to it before we walked through the gate.

Transform the visualization into preparation.

Because once you do, the small negative things lose their power

and the big joyous moments start to stand out.

That is what I now call The Joy Bias. If you have ever heard of confirmation bias, the principle that your brain finds evidence for whatever it already believes, joy bias works the same way.

When you commit to finding joy in an experience, your brain goes looking for it. You notice what is going right. You file the good moments as confirmation. The things that are less than ideal lose their power to derail you, because your brain is simply not weighted toward them. It is the same reason that when you are thinking about buying a certain car you suddenly see that car everywhere. Your brain finds what it is primed to find. Prime it for joy and that is what it surfaces. Anyone who has ever travelled with me knows the one thing I do not tolerate is someone robbing me of joy. Not because I am unrealistic about imperfection but because have decided that no lost bag, no delayed flight, no mediocre restaurant is going to take the thing I came for. I even do this on work trips. On the way to the airport, I tell myself I am going to have a great flight. Cannot wait to have that time alone on the plane. And sure, enough my brain goes to work confirming exactly that.

The science gave us the insight. Anticipation is where happiness peaks. So, stop letting that energy sit in passive visualization and put it to work. Before your next trip, your next adventure, your next weekend away, make the decision. Commit to it out loud. Tell the people you are going with. Prime everyone for the experience you have already decided you are going to have.

Transform the visualization into preparation. Because once you do, the small things lose their power and the big moments start to stand out.

By design, not by chance